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Tickets to the Gun Show

If you turn the television on at 9 o’clock on a Friday night, you would no doubt expect to see Graham Norton, Alan Carr, or someone of a similar calibre of camp, drilling the most important people in the world with quizzical, intrusive, and intelligent questions. (Usually a bright orange member of Geordie Shore being asked who their favourite member of Westlife is…)

This sincere level of debate is not what the citizens of Jordan had to spice up their evening earlier on this week however, oh no, instead they got something far less poignant. On a popular Jordanian talk show, what started off as a political debate parallel to the sombre Frost/Nixon scenario, soon escalated into the fully blown ‘gun ho’ crescendo of Lethal Weapon 4.

The helpless talk show host was left flailing as his two guests began insulting and arguing with each other over accusations of murder, terrorism and espionage. The heated argument included shouts of ‘Mafia Thief!’ and ‘Assad spy!’ and this serious and intense argument culminated in one of the guests, namely a Mr Mohammed Shawabka, lowering the tone by hurling his shoe at the other in a somewhat Bond villain-esque fashion. If this wasn’t enough of a reason not to change channel, the madness did not stop there… When the shoe hurling move did not have the desired effect that Mr Shawabka wanted (which I can only imagine was a tread mark on his opponents cheek) he then pulled out a small silver pistol and began waving it around reminiscent of a frustrated Butlins red coat at the end of their tether.

This astonishing fiasco has left the people of Jordan embarrassed and shocked (also undoubtedly entertained) and a case of attempted murder is now underway. I must add that these men are notoriously dangerous individuals; they weren’t the Jordanian equivalent of Ant and Dec suddenly throwing footwear and brandishing firearms on live television.

So next time you turn on the television at night and see the latest excuse for a ‘personality’ wheeled out in a Hannibal Lecter manner, relish the crowd of morons gawping with glee, and embrace the preened host ready and waiting with a barrage of pointless questions. At least you can be safe in the knowledge that you wont be met by Jeremy Paxman looking down the barrel of a magnum. Even Jonathan Ross will certainly scape a brawl and a bullet wound… Unless of course, Andrew Sachs is in the audience.

By Troy Stevens


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